Sunday, May 16, 2010

Argumentative Essay 2 : The effects of television viewing Draft#1

The effects of televison viewing.
Television, which is one of the most developed mass medium, has garnered quite a reputation in its life. As evidence by American Time Use Survey (2003), statistics shows that average two to three hours per day has been spent by people on watching television rather than engaging in other leisure and sports activities such as exercising and travelling. Due to the pervasiveness of television, advocates seem to have divided opinions on the effects of television viewing on the human psyche. In my opinion, I strongly believe that television watching can bring harms as it leads to the underdevelopment of the thinking skills, poor academic performances as well as unhealthy lifestyle.


Firstly, the viewing of inappropriate programs for prolonged periods can impede the development of the thinking process (Sharif 1999). Children who are still in the way of shaping their personalities will be influenced by the scenes portraying on the screen. Modern children’s programs and music video clips with short fragments encourage short attention spans in children while programs like ‘Friends’ will give a misleading concept that all problems can be resolved with ease. Consequently, they will be vulnerable to the challenges of life in future. Besides, due to the overexposure of violence depicted on television, children will become desensitised to it. They might think that violence is an acceptable way of solving problems. According to Leigh (2001), although television has been used as a teaching tool especially on cultural identity, care must also be taken so that children do not automatically believe the television version of history.

Furthermore, extensive television viewing can lead to students’ poor academic performances (Leigh 2001). It will be easier for them to flick through the interesting channels rather than flip the television off (Rutherford 2002). When television is on, students will hardly focus on their studies as television programs draw undivided attention. As evidence by an educational psychologist, Geraldine Jones, children who are heavy viewers are among the lowest achievers at school. This can be attributed to the fact that television watching is a passive activity that retards one’s imaginative skills in developing problem-solving and organizational ability (Leigh 2001).

Additionally, unhealthy lifestyle will also be cultivated by improper control on watching television. Owing to human’s intrusive nature, lack of communication will befall the families that are having their meals in front of the television. Some even suffer withdrawal symptoms when they are hampered from watching their unmissable programs. Undoubtedly, television watching is a sedentary activity that people might indulge in with snacks. Therefore, it can be detrimental to health if people are becoming more of a couch potato as obesity and related health problems will be triggered (Rutherford 2002).

As a whole, television watching impedes the development of the thinking process, leads to students’ poor academic performances as well as unhealthy lifestyle. Apparently, the effects of television viewing are no longer commensurate with its desirable purpose in education and entertainment. Nevertheless, I believe that the bad effects will not be insurmountable with proper control on television viewing as Rutherford (2002) has conceded that television is a bad master but a good servant.

4 comments:

  1. Good introductory sentence and well use of statistics. However, I think it would sound better to say "garnered quite a reputation after its invention" than saying "garnered quite a reputation in its life", as television has no life and it has also not yet finished its life. haha. =)

    It's good that you have made the topic into an issue to argue by saying the presence of different opinions. A clear thesis statement is also given and connected well to all the topic sentences in the body paragraphs.

    All the body paragraphs are supported with sufficient details and examples. The organization is smooth and in a logical way too.

    However, there are some minor mistakes:
    In the first paragraph, "statistics shows that", please take note that statistics are in plural form so "show" should be used. Same mistake goes to the "two to three hours per day has been spent", "have" should be used here as referring to 2-3 hours.

    In the second paragraph, "by the scenes portraying on the screen" should be corrected to "by the scenes portrayed on the screen" or "by the scenes which are portrayed on the screen". As adding -ing to the verb after the noun without is or are, sounds incorrect.

    In the fourth paragraph, "Owing to human’s intrusive nature", I believe it should be "the television's intrusive nature" that you are referring to. You can check back the original article from Rutherford.

    Other than that, the conclusion did summarize all the main points and thesis statement is restated in a different way. Citation is provided adequately and all the materials are used. Besides, I've learned a number of vocabulary and interesting terms from your essay such as "couch potato".

    It's my pleasure to comment on your essay and sorry for any wrong corrections that I'd made. =D

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  2. ya . i learnt the word couch potato from internet and it is interesting for me as well.

    hahahaha your pleasure? why sounds so serious? Is my pleasure to hear that anyway lol

    Thanks for your comment and everything you did to me ! haha

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